Text: Stefan Glättli, FMH specialist in internal medicine, Thomaskirche, Basel (CH)
You are the god who sees me. Genesis 16:13
O God! This motto for the year triggers such ambivalent feelings in me. Do I want to be seen by you? Yes, but please look at my good sides first of all. I also hide my weaknesses, my insecurities and doubts from those around me. So better ignore these. You are a merciful God! - Is that really merciful, loving, if you only perceive my sunny side? How was that with Hagar? Have you seen how haughty she behaved towards her mistress, Sarah? Now she had to bear the consequences. Well, those were pretty tough. Hagar's situation sucked! Yes, I think it's right that you took care of her. – However, it is not my place to judge your actions. Who am I? A human – sometimes conceited, proud. I can be understanding too. I can listen well. But really, I'm meaningless. It's hardly worth your looking at me. And yet I long for it. I have a deep need to be seen by you, to be accepted by you - especially when I feel weak and insignificant.
The job you gave Hagar was tough: turn back, return to Sarah, who had treated her so badly. Would I create such a reversal? I don't know it. If so, then only with your help!
O you loving God! I think of people who experience day after day that you see them, that you surround them, that they are accepted by you. These are not people who are noticed in our society, they are people who know the dark side of life very well. For example, I will never forget the woman who was crippled by her joint disease and had to deal with pain for years. She is a role model for me with her unshakeable trust and with her experience that you see her.
Also an ex-junkie who, despite all the problems in her life, sticks to her faith. Or the person who was torn from an active life and today no longer has the strength to climb stairs and yet can tell how you meet them every day. Yes, these and other people are role models for me!
And myself? I've also been able to experience many a time how you look at me, how you have answered my prayers. How can I forget that? Help me to perceive this better in my everyday life. Help me to have a full yes to your guidance and also to your corrections, even where it is painful. help me to be thankful
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